DreamSharer Boulevard

A Media Shrine and a Garden
of Art, Creativity & Inspiration.

Author Archive

What do you see?

Posted by DreamSharer on June 13, 2015


All I know right now is that I need to write. Something inside me speaks so loudly wanting the universe to listen…to understand, to appreciate. Inside me there is a lot going on. There is a lot of hope, a lot of confidence that everything will be alright, a lot of wishful thinking for brighter circumstances. Inside me, there is continuous hurt that keep stirring the pain. Every time I try to calm the hurt it subsides for a short chance to breathe, then attacks more brutally than ever before. Inside me there are a lot of unspoken words, a lot of volcanic emotions that are on simmer waiting to erupt.

All I know is that I need to remain strong, remain positive; because it is so easy to give up and crumble. But life is not about taking shortcuts or following the easy path. Life is meant to be difficult. Full of challenges and hardships pushing us to our brighter days ahead.

Life taught me about selfishness, about carelessness, what it means to be self-absorbed. But by the same token it taught me about putting others before yourself, generosity, compassion, and being people-centered. I met those who don’t care and those who do. I met those who go through rough days and good days. Everything has balance to it. Nothing is only good or bad. Just as there are those who are selfish, there are those who are compassionate. Just as there is good in life, there is also bad. Just as there is good and evil…You get the point…

Every day presents a new challenge waiting to be overcome. Every morning there are the birds chirping and the sound of noisy peace-wrecking traffic . It is your personal choice which one you want to hear. Every circumstance brings with it things we can be angry with or things we can be happy about, even if it was a tiny bit it is there, which feeling are you going to follow? Do you want to sulk and brood about the things that could make you angry? Or do you want to smile and feel happy about that tiny piece of happiness that was presented to you in the same circumstance that brings the possibility of anger?

Everything we do in life is a choice. Even going through a bad day is a choice. We can either continue going through it with more hope for better events during the day, or continue feeling bad about our bad day. I mean we all have bad days but maybe if we make the choice to continue being hopeful about the rest of it, just maybe the rest of the day won’t be as bad. I know it sounds easier said than done and I know a lot of people who are reading this will be thinking; “easy for you to say” but hey my life is full of accidents, bad days, falls, depressing events. But there are also great things that I see in my life. They don’t have to be big things. For example, drinking my tea or coffee in the morning is one of the things I consider great in my life. I watch the water boil, I watch the bubbles. I make a mindful choice of what type of drink I want to make. If I am making tea, I spend a nice time choosing my tea bag or bags. Then I spend a wonderful amount of time just breathing in the aroma and noticing the color of the water changing. Yeah I know it sounds silly. But hey, when you have a cold or flu and your nose is so stuffy, you can’t smell a thing, right in that moment, you will understand the meaning of taking in the aroma of a good tea or coffee. A blind person can tell you how he or she would give anything just to see the water boiling and the color of the water changing while you are making tea.

So those tiny good moments in your life that seem so routine and ordinary are things that deserve your gratitude and happiness. Things are not always dandy. Life brings on with it unpleasant moments too. Picture this; you are so hungry that your stomach is growling, you pass by a hot dog stand and the smell is mesmerizing. You search your pockets or purse for any change and you find exactly $1 and 25 cents. The exact price for a hotdog. As soon as you get it someone passes you by in a hurry and knocks your hot dog on the floor. There goes your only change, leaving ketchup and mustard all over your shirt or top, leaving you hungry going into your meeting with stained clothes. Sounds terrible right? Of course it is terrible, who would want to go through that? Who wants to start their day like that?

Allow me to shed the light on a perspective that probably did not cross your mind. Wouldn’t the change you found in your pocket or purse be a sign of good luck? Wouldn’t the fact that when that person bumped into you and only knocked your hot dog down be considered a good thing because he or she could have knocked you down and you could have gotten hurt? Isn’t the fact that all that happened should make you happy because it could have been worse? Or wait could it have been worse? let’s see, after this incident while you are still going to your meeting, you could have been crossing the street and been hit by a car? Or what if while you were walking to work you passed by a loose screw that tore your whole shirt or the back side of your pants or other parts of your clothes embarrassing you in fornt of thousands of people including people you work with and see everyday? BELIEVE ME, it could have been worse, and just the mere fact that it just stopped at the hot dog falling to the ground and you getting stains on your clothes just before you go into a meeting, is a good reason why you should be happy and grateful.

Here, let me share with you my story,  I had an accident one evening. I was sitting outside on my chair when the rain took a short break. I also had bought a dozen eggs from the store across the street before I decided to sit outside for a bit. When it started raining again, I took my chair and went back inside. I was going up the stairs from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor and when I had just reached the top, I have no idea how, but I slipped and fell all the way down to the bottom along with my iron chair and my dozen eggs. I landed on the wooden shoe rack, which was at the bottom of the stairs and broke it to pieces. The eggs were squished under me and the broken iron chair was all over me. For a while I lay there in shock feeling pain everywhere and unable to move. About an hour or so passed and no one was at home to help me get out of this mess. Finally, an hour and a half later, my landlord came back home and found me and helped me out. At first, I was in pain and upset and wasn’t thinking clearly to even call 911 or go to the hospital. But when I woke up in the morning and went to the hospital, the doctors were preparing me for the worst case scenarios and checked me up. They did several tests and x-rays and the results were contusions, torn muscles, torn ligaments, and torn soft tissues. While this sounds really bad and the accident was a traumatic one, I could not stop thinking of how grateful I am. I know for a fact that this could have either cost me my life if I hit my head or the broken iron rods of the chair could have punctured my body and killed me, and so many other possible worse outcomes. Still, I came out of it with bruises and torn muscles, etc. Isn’t that something to be happy, positive and grateful about? If you are wondering why I had to mention the eggs in the beginning, it is to say that with my weight on it along with the shoe rack and broken chair, only 6 were broken and I didn’t even notice the broken ones because I was focused and very happy about the 6 perfect unbroken eggs that survived this accident just like I did. I am so happy I am here today. I am so happy that I have bruises and pain in my body because it is a reminder that that’s all I have and that I am alive, able to walk, able to breathe, able to type, able to move my body.

The moral of all this is that there is always something positive and good even in the worst kind of situation. It just depends on your attitude and stance, do you see the full half or the empty half of the glass?

I certainly made my choice, so what is yours going to be?

I can’t even breathe

Posted by DreamSharer on January 30, 2015

My chest has been so tight.  I can barely breathe. I wanted to talk to someone but there is no one I could talk to. I feel lost and alone and have no idea what to do. I just seem to be a problem to people around me just by existing in this world. Whatever I do and whatever I say, just end up getting more people upset with me.


I’ve been feeling so bottled up. I feel like with every minute that passes, I am just holding back my tears because I feel like I am about to crumble. My chest closes up at times and I just feel like I can’t breathe anymore. All I wanted was to be able to be myself and to be loved for who I am. But I feel like being myself hurts people. I don’t want to hurt anyone.


Confronting does not work because I always get the same standard answer  “I didn’t meant it.” If you don’t mean it then why say it or do it?


At this point I feel so lost and not able to see my road ahead clearly. I feel like I am at a dead end and I don’t know what’s next. I can’t take any of my past actions back. I can only deal with what is happening right now.


I am just tired of being stressed out all the time. I just want a break. I have no idea what to do next. I can’t even think anymore, my mind is blank and I feel I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Volcano about to explode

Posted by DreamSharer on January 29, 2015


Sometimes I feel like I don’t know anything but I try to give myself hope or else I would crumble.  This period I am going through is very difficult for me. I am so angry, enraged and full of rage. Everything that happens to me now, however small, just feeds that anger more. I only see red around me. Every fiber and cell inside me is full of anger and about to burst. I have been feeling like a volcano for a long time and today I feel that anything else that happens will get that volcano to explode and all that lava to burn everything around me including me. I am on the verge
of explosion. I only want to sleep everything off because I don’t want to break. I am trying to keep that volcano from  exploding and yet I feel like I can’t. I am choking on my own anger and my chest feels so tight and I can’t stand anything or anyone. At this specific moment I just want to disappear into nothing.

ANGER ANGER ANGER ANGER…that’s all that is filling me and filling my head.

I am seeing red because I feel hurt and betrayed in many ways and things keep coming up. I don’t get even one day to relax before a new thing comes up. I am just so tired.  Emotionally, mentally, physically…I am so tired.  This pent up anger is killing me. I can’t even breathe. I feel so horrible. My chest hurts, my throat hurts, I feel like something is stuck in my throat and choking me.

I do believe that the actions of people make me feel those things. When the actions don’t match the words, we get confused and we don’t know what is true anymore. Do we believe the words, or the actions? We can’t believe both because they contradict one another, so what do we believe? Do we believe how the actions make us feel?

I know right now I am hurting so much and hurting because of a lot.  I feel so many scars and hurt. I have fainted in the past because my inability to get my anger out in a healthy way manifested into a physical and emotional breakdown and now I want to try and find a way to get my anger and hurt out but in a healthy manner and I still don’t know how…But I am trying to figure it all out.


Posted by DreamSharer on February 2, 2014


I guess we all go on a path of self discovery. Luckily for some of us, they attain self discovery early on in life. Some of us keep searching for a very long time and finally discover themselves at some stage in their lives. Then there is some that live their whole lives and pass on without ever attaining self discovery. This means that even those that finally realized things about themselves and their purpose in life at a later stage in life, they should consider themselves lucky too because at least they finally reached self discovery.

See I am writing this because the last 2 years of my life have been the best years I have ever lived. I lived my whole life searching for who I really am and wondering what I was supposed to do with all these gifts and talents that God gave me. My life, my gifts and talents were so confusing to me. I had so many talents in so many areas that were not even connected with each other. I had journalistic talents, I was a born-writer, I had editing and video making talents, I was born creative, I had film-making talents, and I have a natural gift and ability with kids. No matter how difficult the child is, leave me with him/ her and that child will change to the better. I love children to death and I never knew how that could fit with anything else I am talented in. I did not know until a moment of realization 2 years ago. After all my search, doing my bachelor’s degree in Journalism and media and finding out that despite the fact that I am talented in that field I can’t stand to work in it. Then got my post-graduate diploma in Documentary production and screen-writing and realized then that my love for film-making is like something I would like to do on the side but is not actually what I am meant to be. Finally, two years ago, I decided to tutor on the sideline in my free time. One of my students was a 7 years-old little girl. God bless her for showing me the way. She did not do anything but being herself. Being herself, she taught me that the only medium where I don’t feel like I have to drag myself out of bed to work every single day and hate my life for not having any real purpose to it, is teaching. I was finally excited about my day every single day. I could not wait for my lessons with her. Sometimes her mom would be with her friends and would not pick her up until 4 hours later. That was still so wonderful to me. I know I taught her a lot in our lessons but she taught me so much too. It was then that I realized that my purpose is to be a good teacher to make a good and much-needed change in this world. I realized then that God had bigger plans for me than making movies or publishing books or becoming a journalist. Of course I still do those wonderful things but teaching is a very noble vocation and I was meant to pursue my life in that path.

Two years later, after going back to school and getting my master’s degree in teaching, now I am so grateful every single day of my life that I finally found my calling! I taught children of different ages and different backgrounds and geographical locations for the past 2 years and I have always, every single day, felt like I was finally in the right place! I made many differences in the lives of children and they have all made many differences in mine. They have been my mentors too and I love all my kids to bits! I was waking up every single day looking so forward to going to school and being with the kids. Waking up at 6 in the morning was finally exciting. Being a night owl all my life, having to become an early bird and sleeping early to wake up early, finally felt Great! Every single thing in my life changed for the better and became happier! Every day in the classroom was different than the day before and I finally felt the rewards of doing something you are so passionate about.

Now, one of my students whom I taught during my student teaching semester, writes letters to me. I tell all of you that nothing exceeds the anticipation I have to read her letters. Every time I get her letter, I become like a little girl who just got her Christmas present. If all of that does not mean that I was meant to be a teacher then I don’t know what does.

I am so thankful to all my students for being in my life. I am so thankful to all my students who called me “Miss Princess” in the summer camp last July. The truth is I am not the princess, they are my princes and princesses! They are all my children and always will be forever! I feel so much gratitude that I finally found my way. I feel so much gratitude for being given this gift. I am now the happiest I can ever be knowing I am fulfilling my purpose in life and living every single day to its fullest as a full-fledged teacher!

Last but not least, to my student who writes me her beautiful and wonderful letters out there, I love you so much and I want you to know that you are the most special and precious girl in the world and in my life! I feel so lucky and blessed to have you in my life!

Book finally published!

Posted by DreamSharer on February 1, 2014

My first book is finally published! Since life is a journey, I called the book “The Journey Begins…“ This book is dedicated to all my friends; to my family, to my best friend and my moonlight companion; to everyone I met who touched my life; to strangers who were the reason for most of my inspirations; and to the special people in my life who have unfortunately passed away, may you rest in peace. I hope everyone likes the book!

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Begins-Miss-Bara-Dweik/dp/1479193860/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391038076&sr=8-1&keywords=the+journey+begins+by+bara+dweikcover 2

I wither away

Posted by DreamSharer on November 5, 2013


I wither away

I wither away

Like a tree leaf in the fall

I wither away

Like a yellow leaf falling to the ground


I wither away

like a rose that did not get water

I wither away

Like a butterfly that has been squished


I wither



till I die

and no one is there

at my moment of death

No one is there when I whither


I wither away

Like flowers do in winter

I wither away

without anyone noticing


They wake up one day

and I’m all gone

They look for me

but can’t find a trace


I withered away…

10 Lessons Einstein teaches us

Posted by DreamSharer on July 11, 2013


1. Follow Your Curiosity “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

4. The Imagination is Powerful “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

5. Make Mistakes “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

6. Live in the Moment “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”

7. Create Value “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

8. Don’t be repetitive “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

9. Knowledge Comes From Experience “Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”

10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

You think you can take advantage of me?

Posted by DreamSharer on July 4, 2013

Yes, I need the money. Yes, I am looking for a job. Yes, I am taking on too many things at the moment just to keep my head above water so I would not drown. But all of that does not give him the right to take advantage of me.

He called me 2 weeks ago, lured me in to accept the job. Gave me all the incentives in the world such as, you will have a meal in my house for free everyday, you will be transported to and from my house for free, and you can ask for however you want per hour, I don’t care you can ask for anything and I will pay it.

Ok so I told him I would tutor his daughter for $10 an hour, which is honestly fair because my tutor who tutored me for math was getting $15 an hour. Last year when I tutored a 1st grader, I was getting paid $20 an hour. So anyhow, we agreed to that in the beginning. Then he threw in another incentive saying if his daughter gets 90% or more he will buy me an airplane ticket to anywhere I desire in the world. I should have known his intentions when he said I will even buy you a ticket to Saudi Arabia if you want. Seriously? Saudi Arabia? Why would I want to go to Saudi Arabia? Does he even know that you can’t go to Saudi Arabia unless you work there or are a citizen of that country? So here’s my first experience with his ignorance.

As I told him about paying me for my work yesterday, suddenly he took back everything he said. He said “This will be your last day because I can’t afford $10 an hour, I can nly afford $5 an hour.” At first, I want to say screw you, A**hole! But then I tried to remain calm and talk to him about how he said to me I name the price and he will give it to me. Out of desperation 2 weeks ago he was ready to pay me anything for my work and now he wants to pay me like I am a servant or something because I don’t deserve even minimum wage. The minimum wage in New York is $7.25 by the way. The university I am in pays you $10 an hour for tutoring the university students. So my point is he doesn’t even think I deserve minimum wage. What made me more furious is how he said to me “What $10 an hour? Even University professors don’t get paid that much for tutoring!” Try finding 1 university professor – just one- who would accept tutoring your daughter for $5 an hour!

I feel so insulted by his last statement. It is almost like he is saying I am even below university professor. With my current Master’s degree, I can and am qualified enough to work as a University Professor. I worked so hard to get here. I am on the Dean’s list, I am partially a certified teacher (I have only one exam left to get my full certification), I have a bachelor’s degree and a postgraduate degree and my Master’s degree. So I have 3 degrees and this ******** I can’t even find the right word to describe him, wants to take advantage of my financial needs!

I am so pissed right now like you can’t imagine. I can’t even take any other job offer because I have made a commitment to tutoring his daughter and it fills up my schedule with my other classes that I am taking this summer. So I am not able to get a higher paying job and for what? For $5 an hour! If I did get a job I will be getting at least minimum wage per hour which is still higher than what he is offering me.

I hate that when people find you in need, they try to take you for granted. But I believe in Karma. My ex-fiance broke our engagement off 3 years ago because he cheated on me and he just wanted to marry his mistress. Guess what? 3 years later, now, today, he is in the process of a divorce case because his wife – mistress at the time of our engagement – cheated on him. Now that is why I know that Karma will get this guy too.

Do unto others as you would like done unto you! Remember that phrase? Well it is true. Anyway, I needed to vent a little because I had been having a terrible sleep all night after this happened. I felt so insulted and offended and do you blame me?

I’m so so tired

Posted by DreamSharer on June 10, 2013

I don’t know what I am writing or for what purpose. I am just writing. I am very tired. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. I feel that I have nothing to give anymore. I feel that I have lost any desire for anything. I am like an exploding bomb exploding all the time and hurting the ones I care about the most. I am so tired of that too. I am tired of my life and I have given up on any hope for me. I have tried so many times to change things. People won’t believe me but I really have tried. I have gone to therapists, I have taken the medications, I have read self help books and I have tried practicing them. I have tried writing my thoughts and burning them or tearing the papers out. I have done so much to change things and I am still in limbo. I am even so tired to write now so I will just stop here.

We’ve finally reached the end of the road

Posted by DreamSharer on May 31, 2013

I used to Naively believe in friendships. I used to think that my FB page was personal and whatever I say on there is my business. Wrongly I believed that. I used to think that if I want to vent a little I can do that after all I am not forcing anyone to read my status, am I? WRONG! Although being honest on facebook made me feel better most of the times because my genuine friends on there responded with care, affection and wisdom that helped me see things more clearly, evidently a friend believes that I was only seeking attention. Most of my friends are not with me on my side of the world where I can just talk to them face to face when I need advice or want to vent or when they need someone to talk to. I connect with them through FB because that is where they are active. When I am trying to be with my friends, I use FB. But today, while losing a friend who turned out to be evil, he also taught me before he left a lot about myself. I am still in tears as I am writing this but I can’t go through hearing those words ever again from someone else and neither do I want to lose any of my friends ever again. Therefore, my dear friends if you don’t ever read any status message from me after today don’t worry I am not dead I just don’t want to burden anyone else or suck anyone else’s life as I was told. If you want to understand  why I am saying that, here’s a glimpse of what my friend told me this morning:

“You need to get over yourself. Whatever you choose to say or do really won’t affect me either. it would appear that you are more than capable of taking your frustrations out on anyone and anything that gets in your way. for all my efforts and attempts to help you see the real you and to try and bolster your emotional stability it would seem that it was time wasted as you still seem so very fragile and needy. I’ve seen your facebook posts, and I haven’t bothered to comment or ask if you’re ok cause you clearly were either venting or begging for attention, both of which I was not prepared to be involved with. Your attention seeking methods rose again recently. maybe it’s time you heard your own words of wisdom instead of needing everyone else’s energy to survive on…you don’t care about anyone but yourself and what emotional life you can suck of out them….”

All I was trying to do was be honest to my friend. I just wanted us to make up after months of not talking to each other. I have not imagined that he would ever hurt me this way. I was hurt because he abandoned me and did not allow me to be by his side when he needed people. Through my attempts to speak to him hoping our friendship will once more return, I turned out to be all of what he said. Not only that, but he kept speaking in public about me in ways that are so hurtful. While I was trying to mend our friendship in private he went public on Facebook and other social networking outlets. so I ended it. I can’t sit and watch anymore. I can’t receive messages that keep on degrading me and making me feel horrible. I failed miserably in keeping my friend but I have had enough. I have no intention of listening to his bullshit anymore. I am feeling like some part of me died and I don’t feel like doing anything.