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A part of me bleeds at the thought of him being so far away

Posted by DreamSharer on February 23, 2013

Where is the line where friendship ends and love begins? I have heard that there’s a line drawn to separate the two but how can we know when we’re actually going beyond the borders of friendship?

Is it possible to hold yourself back when you suddenly realize that you’re starting to get near the limits of something else?

Let me ask you, if you found yourself caught in between love and friendship, would you rather cross the line or would you pull yourself back to where you started?

My whole life I thought it was easy to answer right/wrong questions until one day confusion struck me as I found myself being confronted by these mind-spinning questions.

That was 2 years ago when I met one of my best friends who is now the love of my life. When I first met him, I never thought he would ever become a big part of me and my life.

After our initial contact, we spent most of our evenings together exchanging messages on IM’s and as days, then weeks then months passed, I found myself looking forward to talking to him, to being engaged in conversations with him as soon as I got home from work and later from school. It was just so amazing how we got along so well and so easily. It’s as if we had known each other forever. For two strangers to establish such special kind of connection in an instant is magical and definitely is a sign.

It was so weird how I could sense if he was alright or not or if he was going through things. I started imagining how he could look like and I knew that just a glimpse of him would have been enough to make my day, my fantasies and my dreams complete.

When we finally met in person, I was feeling so anxious that day since I did not know what to expect he would be like in person. Finally we met; and magical sparks filled the room. He was everything I ever dreamed of. While we were walking, all I  did was stare at him and all I thought of was how perfect he was. My heart was beating fast and I just couldn’t believe that I’m with my soul mate finally. I knew then with all my heart that he was my soul mate. He didn’t talk much in the car; but he occasionally stared at me and smiled.

Since then, our conversations became much more intimate than what they used to be. He just had and still has his own wonderful way of making me smile. He never failed to make me smile; it is something that he’s really good at.

The way he treated me since then was the most special way anyone had ever treated me. He makes me feel safe and complete. He makes me feel special and I am just glad to find that special bond I have with him.

He had always been there for me even in the simplest ways. I could always feel how much he really cares about me. There’s never a dull moment when we’re together. We laugh at each others’ jokes and talk about everything and anything.

The moments that we share is conditional upon the geographical distance separating us. A part of me bleeds at the thought of him being so far away from me. I sometimes don’t want to go about my day like nothing is wrong because something is wrong when him and I are not together in the same place.

I continue to go about my days and he continues to go about his but still I can’t help missing him and there are so many things that remind me that we are far away from each other wherever I go.

I know that a person can get used to anything if they set their minds to it and if given enough time…but I don’t want to get used to the distance because I love it when we are no longer apart. As of now we have to live apart waiting for the day when we no longer have to be apart. The one thing that I can’t help though is reminiscing about our times together and for now these sweet memories as well as talking on the phone and messaging each other every day are all I have to keep me looking forward for future memories like these.

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