DreamSharer Boulevard

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Archive for May, 2013

We’ve finally reached the end of the road

Posted by DreamSharer on May 31, 2013

I used to Naively believe in friendships. I used to think that my FB page was personal and whatever I say on there is my business. Wrongly I believed that. I used to think that if I want to vent a little I can do that after all I am not forcing anyone to read my status, am I? WRONG! Although being honest on facebook made me feel better most of the times because my genuine friends on there responded with care, affection and wisdom that helped me see things more clearly, evidently a friend believes that I was only seeking attention. Most of my friends are not with me on my side of the world where I can just talk to them face to face when I need advice or want to vent or when they need someone to talk to. I connect with them through FB because that is where they are active. When I am trying to be with my friends, I use FB. But today, while losing a friend who turned out to be evil, he also taught me before he left a lot about myself. I am still in tears as I am writing this but I can’t go through hearing those words ever again from someone else and neither do I want to lose any of my friends ever again. Therefore, my dear friends if you don’t ever read any status message from me after today don’t worry I am not dead I just don’t want to burden anyone else or suck anyone else’s life as I was told. If you want to understand¬† why I am saying that, here’s a glimpse of what my friend told me this morning:

“You need to get over yourself. Whatever you choose to say or do really won’t affect me either. it would appear that you are more than capable of taking your frustrations out on anyone and anything that gets in your way. for all my efforts and attempts to help you see the real you and to try and bolster your emotional stability it would seem that it was time wasted as you still seem so very fragile and needy. I’ve seen your facebook posts, and I haven’t bothered to comment or ask if you’re ok cause you clearly were either venting or begging for attention, both of which I was not prepared to be involved with. Your attention seeking methods rose again recently. maybe it’s time you heard your own words of wisdom instead of needing everyone else’s energy to survive on…you don’t care about anyone but yourself and what emotional life you can suck of out them….”

All I was trying to do was be honest to my friend. I just wanted us to make up after months of not talking to each other. I have not imagined that he would ever hurt me this way. I was hurt because he abandoned me and did not allow me to be by his side when he needed people. Through my attempts to speak to him hoping our friendship will once more return, I turned out to be all of what he said. Not only that, but he kept speaking in public about me in ways that are so hurtful. While I was trying to mend our friendship in private he went public on Facebook and other social networking outlets. so I ended it. I can’t sit and watch anymore. I can’t receive messages that keep on degrading me and making me feel horrible. I failed miserably in keeping my friend but I have had enough. I have no intention of listening to his bullshit anymore. I am feeling like some part of me died and I don’t feel like doing anything.