DreamSharer Boulevard

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Archive for February, 2013

A part of me bleeds at the thought of him being so far away

Posted by DreamSharer on February 23, 2013

Where is the line where friendship ends and love begins? I have heard that there’s a line drawn to separate the two but how can we know when we’re actually going beyond the borders of friendship?

Is it possible to hold yourself back when you suddenly realize that you’re starting to get near the limits of something else?

Let me ask you, if you found yourself caught in between love and friendship, would you rather cross the line or would you pull yourself back to where you started?

My whole life I thought it was easy to answer right/wrong questions until one day confusion struck me as I found myself being confronted by these mind-spinning questions.

That was 2 years ago when I met one of my best friends who is now the love of my life. When I first met him, I never thought he would ever become a big part of me and my life.

After our initial contact, we spent most of our evenings together exchanging messages on IM’s and as days, then weeks then months passed, I found myself looking forward to talking to him, to being engaged in conversations with him as soon as I got home from work and later from school. It was just so amazing how we got along so well and so easily. It’s as if we had known each other forever. For two strangers to establish such special kind of connection in an instant is magical and definitely is a sign.

It was so weird how I could sense if he was alright or not or if he was going through things. I started imagining how he could look like and I knew that just a glimpse of him would have been enough to make my day, my fantasies and my dreams complete.

When we finally met in person, I was feeling so anxious that day since I did not know what to expect he would be like in person. Finally we met; and magical sparks filled the room. He was everything I ever dreamed of. While we were walking, all I  did was stare at him and all I thought of was how perfect he was. My heart was beating fast and I just couldn’t believe that I’m with my soul mate finally. I knew then with all my heart that he was my soul mate. He didn’t talk much in the car; but he occasionally stared at me and smiled.

Since then, our conversations became much more intimate than what they used to be. He just had and still has his own wonderful way of making me smile. He never failed to make me smile; it is something that he’s really good at.

The way he treated me since then was the most special way anyone had ever treated me. He makes me feel safe and complete. He makes me feel special and I am just glad to find that special bond I have with him.

He had always been there for me even in the simplest ways. I could always feel how much he really cares about me. There’s never a dull moment when we’re together. We laugh at each others’ jokes and talk about everything and anything.

The moments that we share is conditional upon the geographical distance separating us. A part of me bleeds at the thought of him being so far away from me. I sometimes don’t want to go about my day like nothing is wrong because something is wrong when him and I are not together in the same place.

I continue to go about my days and he continues to go about his but still I can’t help missing him and there are so many things that remind me that we are far away from each other wherever I go.

I know that a person can get used to anything if they set their minds to it and if given enough time…but I don’t want to get used to the distance because I love it when we are no longer apart. As of now we have to live apart waiting for the day when we no longer have to be apart. The one thing that I can’t help though is reminiscing about our times together and for now these sweet memories as well as talking on the phone and messaging each other every day are all I have to keep me looking forward for future memories like these.

Important rule in business when it involves personal relationships

Posted by DreamSharer on February 22, 2013

All my friends who worked with me in the past would know that my professionalism dictates that I don’t know you when I am working with you. If we have a job together and when we are on the job I don’t know you other than you and I are working and nothing else in between. When I am a teacher, let’s say the principal was a friend and she and I had a fight over a personal matter, does it make any sense if I left my students without a lesson or a teacher and just went home because of my personal matter with my friend principal? See not a lot of people get that concept which is why it is so hard to work with people because they can’t separate personal from business and that is just so wrong!

See my ex and I had a terrible break up but unlike many privileged women who can cut their ex’s off I could not do that because I was his manager and he was a music star. We were in the middle of getting contracts and meetings with record companies. I spent nights with tears in my eyes preparing powerpoint presentations about him and his work and saw all the pictures that people who had just broken up should not see. But I did because that is what professional means. I did all of that for months which elongated my healing process and I knew it made things worse but again I needed to be professional. 2 months later I traveled to do meetings with companies and he was there coming with me to every meeting. Him the guy I just broke up with. Still again work and personal should be separate. I went there and did all the meetings and when my job was over I gave him a one month notice that I can’t work with him anymore and I told him I will find him someone to take my place. I spent the next month gathering all his work in a special folder and making interviews with candidates to take my place. And finally after I secured another manager for him, I cut all ties with him.

See I only told this story to show that when you make a commitment to work with family or friends or husbands/ wives or lovers you take on the risk to run into personal problems but you also take on the risk of having those personal issues mix up with business and then you won’t be at your optimum performance. While you fight and take days and months off work because you are not talking to each other, other businesses emerge and do better than you and you risk your professionalism. If you want to work with a partner you value in your personal life then you must be strong to say ok I will not talk to you personally until I cool off but we will only be talking about our business and working on our business till then. That way your business won’t be affected and it is the smart thing to do.

If you can’t do that then the first thing you need to work on before anything else is your professionalism. It is one of my pet peeves because my mind thinks if I could step on my heart and push myself to be professional and yell at my friends when directing my movies and if I could step on my broken heart and work with my ex and make him look perfect to the companies we were meeting during our break up even though he was the worst person in my eyes back then, then I know that everyone else can be strong enough to make the right choice of being at their professional best. Everyone can do it, make the right choice for you but just be professional no matter what decision you make. This is coming from someone who had to be the director of movies her friends acted in and had to bust them and push them and yell at them to get their best performances.

Do you think that was easy for someone who is very nice to everyone and can’t even say the word NO to anyone in real life because she does not want to hurt anyone’s feelings? Of course not! This was the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But I did it! No one can say I am not a good firm and disciplined director. And not even my ex can ever say that I was not professional in his business till the last moment we ever spoke to each other. This is what professionalism is! A dedication! Friend or not, if I need to stop working with him or her, I will send a resignation letter and a one or two months notice. Friend or not, if I need to take time off then I will send a documented request. I don’t take advantage of friendships and slack off and do things unofficially just because we are friends. The only thing this friendship serves in business is the trust we have in each other and how we know each other as business partners. That’s it! Nothing else should happen just because you are friends. They should not cut you some slack because you are friends and it is not their jobs to do that. But you see people don’t like that. Automatically when they work with friends they think oh nothing should be official and that is a totally wrong thinking. I used to send a weekly report to my ex out of my own will about how things are coming along and the status of everything that is being negotiated. Also I had a business contract which I prepared myself with my ex as his manager. We were in a relationship but when it came to business I made sure we worked as pros because that’s what I wanted to be and that is what any business-minded person should strive to be.

I know how hard it is to draw the line but I also know that it can be done!