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Archive for February, 2012

My sorrowful heart

Posted by DreamSharer on February 8, 2012

I have been hiding in my own shell of solitude and silence for all these past years. I have only felt safe while slipping away into the secluded oblivion within me. For despite all the love I have for words, they too often failed to express the raging and racing feeling in my heart…

In my mind, I can hear music playing in sorrow tunes in the background. Still, this silence drowns my soul as if the last wave of the turning tide reaching for and yearning for the beach on dry land. The silence roaring through these hollow caves inside me soothes me yet leaves me tortured. At the end of the day, I ask myself, what is the use of this silence? What is the use in keeping things to myself. I wish now to be able to find the right literary phrases to illuminate the dark spaces within me. Only, there is nothing inside me. There is only silence, sorrow and a total absence of the light that guides me.

I have made my own decisions in the past. I made it with a clear head but mostly with a full heart. I have no regrets; I just have this indescribable sadness lurking throughout the hollow rooms of memory inside me. The same thing happens with my memories with you. To turn back time and savor these moments again with you more deeply, is wishing for the impossible. Memory is a blessing I am happy to bear but also one that I often curse because it reminds me too clearly of all that I had and lost. With ease, I can walk the corridors of my past with you. Each second with you feels still fresh and vivid; alive with sight, sound and scent. It is physically, emotionally and mentally beyond me to cherish those moments any more than I did at the time of their creation. It hurts more than I can describe that I can’t feel those moments anymore. They were experienced with more intensity than what my frail heart and body imagined or experienced.

The pain lies now in not being able to sense those moments physically with you. The pain is the total numbness of my hands and mouth and body when I recall out time together. I can’t feel that. Without your presence these memories are just home videos thrown up on the fragile, aged and cracked wall of my mind. I truly believe that I could sculpt your entire form out of clay; every contour of muscle, I can sculpt it to perfection. My mind can see you clearly with an etched brilliance. Every night my mind runs over those memories; remembering, reminiscing, yet aching with emptiness because it is only a memory.

My thoughts are empty now sweetheart.

I can see you in my mind reading my words and it makes me smile but in a sad way. You will be sitting there reading these sentences and feeling a little fear that I may be exaggerating or that I don’t know what I am talking about.
Now again my words fail. My silence at this time and the necessity of silence was the only expression of emotion that is left inside me.

These are all that are left to me. Again. As usual I am only thinking of you. If you were only here now… I no longer know what we would do. My head is no longer clear and my heart has overflowed. It is dripping flames of agony, love, passion and longing throughout and all over me. Oh but wait…You are not with me now…
I am hurting…

What more can I say?

Silence and sorrow is all I feel now.
If you were only here now…I’m not sure what will happen. Will we light the candles? Will we stay in darkness so we won’t see the temptations? Which would be better? Should I hide and remain still in this silent solitude of mine? Should I keep myself from reaching beyond my soul’s confines to touch yours? Should I be ashamed of these feelings I have for you?

Maybe I have no shame left. Not after those memories with you. Why should I feel shame for loving someone the way I love you? My life, the way I lived it, would have had me love you more with each passing day. Is that even an option?

It is not.

Despite all that lack of light I can still see you clearly. Can you see my face now? I hope not because I am smiling and laughing softly to myself while thinking of what you would see in my eyes without even uttering a word.

I miss you. I long for you. I am hungry for more memories with you.

At times, reality is a harsh and a cold place to live. I guess now is one of those times. Why can’t I make myself believe that you are here with me now? Was it fair of God to deny us the experience of utter love by making our proximity closer or our time together longer? Maybe it is a blessing that I do not have that to mourn over as well; to highlight even more forcibly what I no longer have. I don’t know. All I know is that I miss having you here to light up this darkness I see every day, and to roar through this silence and bring joy into this solitude I am going through.

Let me tell you what I know. I know that I love holding you, being with you, looking into your eyes knowing and hoping that you feel the same way about me. I love you so much that I breathe your scent, words sometimes cannot express it. Every moment I spent with you is a moment I cherish and remember with all my being. You are my star in the night sky. I look up to you for everything.

Love and friendship is what I feel with you, it is not just that we are lovers, we are also best friends, and that is what makes our relationship more special than anyone else’s. I grow to love you more and more every day, and I do not know right now what I would do without you. Sometimes I would like to think my love for you is like a great dream, I don’t want to wake up because I don’t want to lose that love.

So why is there space between us? Sometimes I just want to give up on trying to open myself up because all it does is just hurt me much more. I feel I want to go back to my shell and shrivel up because it won’t hurt me as much. But how can I do this? How can I not be open anymore when I find myself opening up to you naturally, showing you the most vulnerable parts inside me?

You still have my heart in the middle of your chains of veins. It is my heart, but your arteries and veins feed it and connect to it. When you have your arms around me I feel you have it around my soul. I know I will always love you and that makes me cry because I get hurt when you are not here.

The love inside me is burning for you.

Today’s Quote

Posted by DreamSharer on February 8, 2012

“The veil of confusion gently falls away,
Like the dank mist on a dull autumn day.
Revealing the path that lies there before me,
To step forward or not, what will it be?”

~Gabriella Goddard~

A Picture worth a thousand words! 02/07/2012

Posted by DreamSharer on February 7, 2012

Sometimes people don’t need words…all they need from you is a gentle touch…A hug…To know you love them and that they have your full support!

A Hug is worth a thousand words!

A friend is worth a whole world!

Is it fair…Pay more but receive less service?

Posted by DreamSharer on February 6, 2012

Time to vent…rather sit down and wallow in what this world has come to. To narrow it down I am talking specifically about my country…Canada – The greatest place I would not trade for any other place – well I still love my country but I hold my head down and cry thinking of how bad things have become. Where is my old city that used to do everything to make us (the citizens) happy? I grief because of how things are today?

Toronto – Pull up your socks, lace up your boots and get ready to pay more, but receive less service.

It has already started with the TTC and it is only a matter of time till it moves on to another essential service that the city provides.

Yesterday I sat down for 45 minutes waiting for the bus when a month ago there used to be a bus every 10 minutes! But I guess…Not anymore. When the bus came to my stop it was stacked like some sort of clay or mud coming together to form a shape. No chance for anyone to breathe. The first woman came in asking the driver I have been waiting for 1 hour at the stop. Next the bus stopped at another stop and there was no room for anyone else to come in and the woman at the stop said I have been here for more than an hour and now I have to wait another hour for the next bus because this one is full?

The driver does not have the answer! It is not his problem why should he have the answer? So I ask who then has the answer if no one does?

A month ago every single bus route used to have a 10 minute between buses frequency. A month ago street cars used to come every 5 minutes while subways used to run every 1-3 minutes. Now with the new cutting down the services rule, buses come every 30-45 minutes and streetcars run every 15-20 minutes if not more. While subways run every 5 minutes. The fare used to be $3 a ride on any TTC transportation and a monthly pass used to cost $121. Well not anymore. The fare had risen now for every ride and the monthly pass now costs $126 and when the child used to ride for free well now the child rides for 75¢.

So we are paying more for less! What ignorant marketing director issues such rules? Why should we pay the price because some mayor decided to cut down the budget? For so many years all we have been hearing is cut down the budget while taxes are on the rise so what do we exactly pay for? Do I pay more taxes for less job opportunities? Do I pay more taxes for less buses or to be squeezed in with dozens of people? Do I pay more taxes to end up paying more for goods and groceries?

Personally I don`t care what the Mayor (with all due respect) has to say! I don`t care what his reasons are or why he cuts down millions of Dollars off the budget. I am not into politics and I certainly am not working for the TTC to sympathize with their reasons either. Just as selfish as people are, I am selfish to care about my own self and be upset for paying more for less or for the severe inconvenience the TTC has caused.

The TTC General Manager Gary Webster noted in one of his statements that the service would not be increased and the cuts in the 2012 is just the beginning. Also the TTC chair Karen Stintz told Global News that the fare hikes would account for the rate of inflation.

And after all this, TTC boss Webster said he feels the riders’ pain and he sympathizes with us! Really? We are glad you sympathize with us but allow me to ask what is your compassion going to change? Is it supposed to make things better? Is his compassion enough?

In the last couple of weeks, the discussions of raising the Toronto Transit Commission fares led to more talks about a possible annual 10-cent increase until 2015.

In fact, the service from the TTC is expected to be reduced to the 2004-levels.

Furthermore, some city council members believe that the City should not expect transit riders to pay more for less. Council Joe Mihevc said: “There is no way, when asking passengers to pay 10 cents more, we should be cutting service.”

Despite these statements, Webster did not have any optimistic view or opinions about the future of transit in Toronto. He justified their new decision by saying that the TTC cannot afford to maintain or increase its service without finding additional sources of revenue.

“It’s not going to get better unless we get more money through subsidy or higher fares to sustain a higher level of service.”

Webster was a guest on CBC Radio’s Metro Morning one day after the TTC announced it would reduce service on 56 bus and six streetcar routes.

What we should all know is that the service reductions are part of cuts Mayor Rob Ford mandated across all departments as the city struggles to curtail a budget shortfall of $774 million.

What is funny is that although Webster admits the fare increase and service reductions are bad news, he still said the TTC’s budget problems are to blame. And is that supposed to be our problem? So if the budget is to blame why should we pay the price? Sorry but this isn’t a good excuse!

The cuts caused us longer waiting times and more crowding on TTC vehicles, which again is something Webster said he regrets. However, how much does this regret change the bad situation the mass population is facing? We are facing serious issues here when people can’t get to their appointments or get to work on time because the public transit is blaming this problem on the budget.

“I know [customers] are not happy,” he said. “I know this is not minor stuff for some of the routes. When you reduce service or raise fares, people leave the system. And that’s clearly not what we’re trying to do. We’re hoping that as much as people don’t like what we’re doing … perhaps they can accept it and trust that we’re working hard to get an agreement in place with all the funding partners so that we can lead ridership when it grows in the future.”

I am just so sad about what is happening. I went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday I left at 3 pm and I came back home at 11:30 pm. I was stranded several times between buses unable to catch the buses on time and waiting around 45 minutes every time. This isn’t right. The TTC does this when the city has a big traffic problem which means less cars are needed. Yet with this TTC decision more people will end up buying cars which means more pollution and more traffic jams.

And So The Moment Ended…

Posted by DreamSharer on February 6, 2012

Time deceived me

It flew by like a week, an hour, a day

It flew away quicker than it ever passed
I tried yet I failed to pause time,

Or make our precious moments last a long while
Our days just slipped away,

It sifted through the cracks of time,
Hour by hour, moment by moment, day by day

As every moment passed
The clock ticked warning of the feared moment

Our time together was almost ending
With each tick of the clock
The day comes closer,
The moment I have feared
For weeks, for days, for hours
is drawing closer
Soon I will say
Good-bye to you my love

I will hurt with every cell

Every part of my soul
As you watch me leave
I sit and I cry
As the time comes

There is nothing more to do
There is no more time to savor
No more hugs

No more kisses
There is nothing left
There is only time left
time and distance

The long lonely stretch of the highway
Is what is left

The highway that stands between our love
Now all I can do is just wait
Replay the scene by counting each day
until the next meeting moment comes.
The last thing I saw was your face,

your fading smile
The last thing I felt were your arms

Wrapped around me

like you were never letting me go

Now you will just remember me

When I am gone

When my bus has driven away,
Driven far away on the lonely highway

All the way to the silent land;
When we can hold each other no more

Or hold hands,

Just remember my essence, my presence, my annoyances
For now you shall not have me nor see me smile

When I am all the way across the miles

As for me, I remember too

I remember the way you breathe

I remember how your heartbeats made me calm

I remember how when you spoke I felt warm
I remember how you saw right through me
Like a comet of bright light passing through my soul

Making me detoxify with new bright energy filling me

I always wanted to stay in your arms when you held me
I remember your nose
I’ll remember your eyes
I’ll always remember your smell,
Like a scent sent to earth from Heaven,

I’ll remember the way we kiss
Our moments together will forever be missed
I will miss the way you drive

I’ll miss your smile

I’ll miss the way I am when I am with you,
I remember the way we belong to each other,
I miss the way you hold me tight
I will miss you until we meet again

I will miss everything except our ‘goodbyes’

I feel I could die
Without you here with me

The moment ended, the day came,

When across the miles I lie dreaming of you…again

 

© 2012

Basic Film Industry Trivia

Posted by DreamSharer on February 5, 2012

1. Let’s begin with a genre question. If a film’s objective is to shock, disgust or repel its audience, what genre is it most likely associated with?

A. Gangster

B. Horror

C. Musical

D. Western

 

2. Which of the following can generally be used as an example of non-diegetic material?

A. Special effects

B. A main character’s monologue

C. Set and costumes

D. A film’s closing credits

 

3. What is the difference between what the term ‘long take’ and ‘long shot’ refer to?

A. Long shot – duration between cuts; long take – distance between camera and subject.

B. There is no difference; they both refer to duration between cuts.

C. There is no difference; they both refer to distance between camera and subject.

D. Long take – duration between cuts; long shot – distance between camera and subject.

 

4. Alright, so who the heck is the ‘best boy’?

A. He’s a friend of the producer’s who hangs out on set but doesn’t have a particular responsibility.

B. He’s the assistant to the gaffer (who is the head electrician).

C. He’s the assistant to the make-up artist, but is particularly concerned with the male lead’s needs.

D. He’s the overseer of the clapper boy (who operates the clapboard identifying each take).

 

5. What is a master shot?

A. The first take for every shot.

B. A moving shot that pans the room in 360 degrees, establishing geography and spatial relationships.

C. The first shot used in a film.

D. A wide angle or long shot that establishes the spatial relationships of all of the elements in the frame and orients those elements in a particular place.

 

6. Which of the following films is NOT paired with the movement it was a part of?

A. ‘Rules of the Game’ – French Impressionism

B. ‘Battleship Potemkin’ – Soviet Montage

C. ‘The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari’ – German Expressionism

D. ‘Umberto D’ – Italian Neorealism

 

7. What is true of panning or tilting?

A. In panning, the camera is rotated side to side horizontally and the point of view remains the same.

B. In tilting, the point of view is fixed and the camera is just turned on the horizontal axis.

C. In panning, the camera moves up and down and the point of view is mobile.

D. In tilting, the point of view is mobile and the camera is moved on the horizontal axis.

 

8. In three-point lighting, which of the following is NOT one of the lights used?

A. sub

B. fill

C. back

D. key

 

9. A theoretical discovery in the 1920′s showed that an audience does not perceive individual shots separately from those around it, that in fact there are constant inferences made by the collision of images on the screen. An example of how this might work: a man’s face is shown; cut to a shot of a woman storming out of a door with a suitcase; cut back to the exact same shot of the man’s face. An audience seeing sequence would infer an emotional situation, probably that the woman is leaving the man (perhaps her husband?) and the audience would believe the man’s face to be different the second time they see it even if it is the exact same shot printed twice in the film. What is the name by which this phenomenon is known?

A. Kuleshov Effect

B. Psyche Interpretation

C. Theory of Inference

D. Eisenstein Principle

 

10. What is looping?

A. The process of setting up the projector for showing a print.

B. The use of wires and harnesses for stunts – literally looping the stars to scaffolding.

C. The process of re-recording the dialogue for a film.

D. The act of a camera rotating back on itself to film the space it came from.

who am I?

Posted by DreamSharer on February 5, 2012

I am like day,
you can find me near the river any day,
and you can make almost anything out of me.
who am I?


Autobiography

Posted by DreamSharer on February 3, 2012

Playful, happy, and creative

I was like that as a child

Constantly looking for what’s new

Always running around

Very lively and energetic

And here I am now

All grown up

But still the same

Maybe a bit more determined and ambitious

A daydreamer, however no different from my childhood